Putting Polyamory in Perspective

Where would we be without:
- Partners “cheating” on us and the riot it causes?
- Unnecessary break ups that don’t ring true to one’s heart?
- The jealousy gun we point at anyone who passes?
- Anger, fear and uncomfortable feelings we get concerning “others” “interfering” with a relationship?

I think a world without all these things would be pretty awesome, don’t you agree? 

Healthy polyamory is the only lifestyle I can think of that creates this sort of world. This paradigm pushes people's buttons, so I thought I'd write this to help others understand what a healthy example of polyamory looks like. 

Anyone who has read romance fan-fiction will know shippers like to pair random people together. Each of these pairings can function perfectly well, but, paring person A with B will be different than pairing person B with C. Polyamory is basically saying "All these ships can function together". It creates a new set of fireworks, so to speak, and can be wonderfully unique and fun! :)

EXAMPLE

I was waiting in line of Woolworths, looking at a magazine propped on the side. Here’s what jumps out at me.

ROBERT PATTINSON BETRAYS KRISTEN STEWART!!

It had a picture of Robert smiling like a fool, and Kristen looking suicidally depressed. It then quotes Kristen: 

“It’s her or me” 

I opened up to read Robert had fallen for the one and only Katy Perry.
That’s interesting I thought, flicking it shut, then turned to Dot.
“Polyamory would solve everything”
Dot acts like I’m not even there. She walks away and says nothing. Understandable reaction for someone getting their mind screwed with.

I’m just going to show you...

This is what the article could have been

Disclaimer: this is all completely made up and fictional.  Please don't take it as something real. It's something I concocted. 

Imagine if the magazine said this. 

ROBERT PATTINSON FINDS A NEW LOVE WITH KATY PERRY!

There’s a picture of Robert and Katy with their arms around each other, grimacing, and Kristen hanging over the top of both of them in the middle, with her arms around their necks, thumbs up, a giant grin on her face. There’s a tag-line on the picture saying “Kristen approved”. 

Flicking inside the magazine, there's a lengthy transcribed interview. 

Interviewer: We are sitting in the middle of a crowded café, having the pleasure to speak with Twilight superstars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson tonight, and of course, singer Katy Perry. How are you going tonight?

(Katy bats her eyelashes sexily for the camera)

Katy: Oh, fantastic.

(Robert is laughing too much at this point and is unavailable to comment)

Interviewer: So how did this all start? Kristen, you seem pretty fond of telling the story

(Kristen grimaces and looks playfully at the ceiling for a moment)

Kristen: Well… Robert kept in the closet for a while. It was kinda annoying. He’d be like “Oh, I’m going out with Katy” or “Come hang out with me! I’m bringing Katy” so one day I cornered him and said “Are you seriously expecting me to believe she’s just a friend to you?”. Robert just laughed and said “No”. Haha. I grilled him about it for a while but he just caved in.

(Robert has tears in his eyes from trying to stop laughing) 

Robert: It was terrible

Interviewer: Robert, you seem to find this terribly amusing.

(Robert wipes his eyes)

Robert: Oh, well it’s just so stupid. Kristen’s just too good to me, I suppose. She figures out everything in the end.

Katy: Just like Bella

Robert: Yeah, just like Bella.

(Kristen rolls her eyes, smiling)

Interviewer: Katy, you’ve gone awfully quiet.

Katy: I dunno. I think my next single should be ‘Threesomes by the double” or something cheesy like that

Robert: (laughs) That would be terrible

Kristen: I don’t know, I think it has potential. Can I help write it?

Katy: It would be a crime for me to say no

Kristen: Now things are getting good. I could be in a music video.

Katy: No! All the fame for me!

Kristen: (shaking her head) Shut up. I’m a billion times more popular then you.

Robert: Only because of me

Kristen: Shut up

Interviewer: So what are your plans? Who’s moving in with who? It must be very confusing.

Robert: Yeah, I get my brain in a knot every day

Kristen: It’s because you’re a man. Katy and I have got it sorted. Haven’t we?

Katy: We most certainly have

Robert: Oh no.... women keeping secrets from me again.

Katy: Here’s the plan, Edward…

Kristen: We’re going to all move in together in a… resort place. I don’t know. We’ll have enough money.

Katy: That’s not all. It’s going to be awesome.

Robert: I would like to think so...

Kristen: It’s-

Robert: ...If you drag me into a hobo lair, you know who’s going to pay

Katy: Yes

Kristen: Both of us

Robert: Haha… I think we’ve said too much

Interviewer: You three have been an inspiration to many couples stuck in similar situations as you.

Robert: I’m glad

Kristen: Well… people are pretty fucked up

Interviewer: Do you have anything to say about that?

Katy: I think it’s strange, to be honest. When you see what can become of something, you sort of wonder why the alternative existed in the first place.

Kristen and Robert: Yeah

Katy: I think people are still allowed to make their own choices, but maybe … consider the alternatives a little more?

Interviewer: What brought you to that state of mind?

Katy: I’ve always been one to push boundaries and question, because the world’s full of questions, and sometimes not having the answer isn't good enough

Interviewer: What about you, Kristen? 

Kristen: I guess I got sick of mental breakdowns, to be honest. And hurting everyone involved. Admittedly this is a typical sort of a situation: your boyfriend falls for one of your good friends.

Katy: Acquaintance darling

Kristen: No, but… come on, everyone knows Katy’s a nice person

Katy: Thank you

Kristen: ...and it’s not nice to be hurting people all the time. I guess... something just clicked in my brain and I thought "Hey, I don't want to do this anymore".

Interviewer: Do you share similar sentiments, Robert?

(Robert is chewing on a toothpick, staring at the table)

Robert: Umm…look, I don’t know anymore. I didn’t come up with this. I’m lucky Kristen didn’t chop my head off. That's what I was expecting. 

(Kristen smiles and puts a hand on Roberts knee)

Kristen: You know I would never do that, honey

(Robert smiles)

Robert: I am incredibly lucky to be surrounded by two beautiful woman in such a fine bar, on television. I’m lucky I didn’t have to jump off a building in complete guilt of loving someone else.

Kristen and Katy: Awww

Katy: We’re touched. Really.

Kristen: Sarcasm, much?

 
(Katy laughs and gives Kristen a High Five)

Kristen: Hell yes!

Interviewer: It’s nice to see all of you so happy

(Robert shakes his head in some sort of insane, big eyed way)

Robert: Oh, hell yes.

Interviewer: We have someone else we need to interview. Any last words?

Katy: I’ll be bringing out a new song, ‘Threesome’s by the double’ soon

Kristen: When it has a better name

Katy: Sure, if you can come up with one

Kristen: Thank you so much for talking to us. I hope viewers at home aren’t too creeped out.

Robert: (Laughs) You’re dating a vampire; you’ve fucked everyone up enough

Kristen: URrrgg! See, he always likes to pretend I’m Bella!

Katy: Bella

(Kristen makes a puppy face and Katy pats her on the head)

Robert: I hope everyone makes some good choices at home

Katy: Not like this loser

Robert: Hey!

(Robert, Katy and Kristen wave at the camera)

All: See ya later!!

___

You can say that is entirely unrealistic, but I found it the easiest thing in the world to write, so it can't be that bad. 

For those who still find this idea confusing, or find it hard to grasp the possibilities, perhaps this article on Your Lover's Other Lovers might help you. 

For those who want a better idea on how to create a healthy polyamorous relationship, check out the book mentioned in the recommendation list. 

:) enjoy